


Easier to Run

by LightInside



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, During the evacuation, Gen, Guilt, Set during v3e12, Weiss is in it too, and everybody else is there, but it's a Blake fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 03:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11282571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightInside/pseuds/LightInside
Summary: Sometimes I remember the darkness of my pastBringing back these memories I wish I didn't haveSometimes I think of letting go and never looking backAnd never moving forward so there'd never be a past





	Easier to Run

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a Linkin Park song of the same title, and from which the lyrics in the summary are borrowed.

Blake was lying on the floor of the airship next to Yang’s unconscious form, one hand still clutching her only remaining one. Coco and Velvet tangled their arms around each other at the front of the ship, backs to the pilot’s compartment. Or at least, their backs would have been to it, had that space not been occupied by Yatsuhashi, who held both girls in his own arms. Fox leaned into the corner beside them, arms crossed as he stared at the floor. Ren and Nora were seated on a bench at the back end of the aircraft, each with a hand on either of Jaune’s shoulders, as he sat on the floor leaning back against their legs while also somehow leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Weiss was on the bench along the opposite wall and near the middle of the ship, eyes darting back and forth in an endless loop between the equidistant Yang and Ruby, who was also unconscious on the floor. The transfer students had been shuttled on a separate airship, leaving this batch of Beacon’s students to mourn, both together and very much alone. The silence was a physical entity surrounding them all.

Silence was one of Blake’s most familiar companions, even compared to the three girls nearest her. Under most circumstances, she enjoyed it, even sought it out. It allowed her mind to be at peace, helped her focus, and was a precious and rare thing given her four ears. But at the moment, she could have done with a little less silence, because focusing was a habit her mind always fell back to, and right then, it was torture. 

Her history with Adam played through her mind on a loop. Their bonding during her early years in the White Fang, which only escalated after her father stepped down as leader. How she had screamed her parents out of her life, turning to Adam for support and a purpose instead. How, with her help, he quickly rose through the ranks of the new White Fang, an organization that fit his philosophy more closely.

How his support of her slowly started to hurt more, chastising and intimidation and punishments. How she stepped farther and farther from her beliefs, slowly at first, and then in larger bounds, struggling to stay close to the only person she had left. The crimes she’d committed, always at his side or his instruction, lives ruined that still haunted her. Her final decision to flee, to give up the only thing she had because she didn’t want it any more. His reappearance tonight, like a nightmare she’d woken from dozens of times.

She knew that he had hurt people, killed people even. But there had never been anything more than words between the two of them. Sometimes less than that. And then, tonight, she’d stopped him killing an innocent. Physically stopped him. And he’d stabbed her. She knew he was capable of it, she’d seen him do it to others, but somehow she’d never imagined that he would do it to her. He loved her. And then she was bleeding onto the floor of a burning building, and Yang was burning as well with her own fire, and Blake pleaded with the world to stop.

Stop taking away the things she cared about. Stop filling her life with pain. Stop spinning, just long enough for everything to be okay again.

She knew what would happen before the sword even left her stomach. She had watched, helpless, as the crimson blade swung, and Yang tumbled to the ground, severed and bleeding. It hurt worse than the stab wound. Which was the only reason why, when she saw Yang’s chest still rising and falling with breath, she found the strength to pull herself from the ground to put herself between Yang and Adam.

He decapitated her shadow. Had it not been a shadow, he would have decapitated her. And he loved her. She let out another sob and clutched Yang’s remaining hand a little tighter.

“What happened?”

Blake tensed immediately, the sound of even this soft voice shocking in the oppressive silence of the airship. She looked up towards the voice’s source and met eyes with Weiss. Her expression was somewhere between defeated and furious.

Unable to hold Weiss’ gaze, Blake hesitated. She’d never wanted any of them to know about Adam. On the few occasions she had discussed it, she tried to be as vague as possible, downplay their relationship. Their shared past was supposed to be a secret that she took to the grave. One that was always in the back of her mind, coloring her thoughts and experiences. But that secret had been taken from her, released into the world whether she wished it or not, because Yang knew. She’d seen it. She’d been physically torn apart by it. And Yang would tell Weiss and Ruby, because there weren’t supposed to be secrets between any of them, and because Blake’s secret was Yang’s now too.

“It’s my fault,” Blake eventually muttered.

Only the absolute silence that still permeated the airship allowed Weiss to hear the barely-breathed response. Her expression shifted farther towards furious and her voice mirrored it. “I seriously doubt that, but if it truly is, then I’ll kill you myself. Now. Tell. Me. What. Happened.”

Blake squeezed her eyes shut at the threat. She’d grown to know Weiss well enough that, under normal circumstances, she would have understood it to be a hollow one. But these were not normal circumstances, and so she couldn’t be sure. Weiss always spoke as though she meant every word. Pushing herself to sit up, hand still wrapped around Yang’s, Blake took a steadying breath. She glanced towards both ends of the compartment, noting that none of the other occupants seemed to have registered that words had been spoken, lost in their own dark places. Satisfied and resigned, she met Weiss’ glare again.

“Do you remember yesterday, after Yang’s match?” How could that be just a single day ago? It felt like an eternity. “I told you that I’d had someone close to me change.” Weiss nodded, once. “And that night in Mountain Glen? The… mentor, I used to have. Adam.” A brief and searching glance down as she connected the dots, then another nod. “I didn’t catch that Alpha. I ran into Adam. He did this,” she covered her bandaged stomach with the arm that wasn’t still clinging to Yang’s hand. “Then he did that to Yang when she tried to protect me.”

Weiss continued to glare past her for several seconds in silence, eyes unfocused as she thought. She motioned for Blake to continue, but the faunus only withered under her gaze and turned her attention to the floor beside her. Then Weiss glared  _ at  _ her. “And how on Remnant is any of that your fault?”

“Because he’s my fault!” Blake suddenly cried, on the edge of tears for at least the eighth time in the past hour. “I’m the one he wants. I’m the reason he hurt Yang. He was going to kill her, just to hurt me.”

Weiss sat in silence for a long moment, clearly mulling over her newfound understanding of Adam, his connection to Blake, and his attempt on Yang’s life. At length, she let out a huff and turned her attention to Ruby. “That sounds nothing like your fault. So you made a mistake getting involved with him in the first place. You’ve been working to make things better, but you can’t stop him from doing things himself. As much as you may want to.” Weiss seemed to wilt as she finished speaking. Blake realized that she was speaking about her own father as much as about Adam.

Blake tried to absorb Weiss’ words. At face value, she knew they made sense. People have free will, and what Adam did with his was up to him. But she knew it was a response, a reaction to everything that had happened between them. And that’s when she knew that her teammates wouldn’t understand, couldn’t. They knew who she was now, but they would never really know the girl she’d been before she met them. They couldn’t possibly understand how, in some ways, she was tied to Adam every bit as much as he was tied to her. They didn’t know about how much Blake had contributed to the man Adam became, and it wasn’t something she could tell them, even if she wanted to. There was too much and it was too close, Blake herself only understood it through experiencing it.

Her eyes fell to Yang’s stump, the first time she’d looked at it since she’d gotten them both to safety. She wished she could take it all back - all the pain Yang and others had endured because of her, all of her mistakes. She wished she could be a different person, but she knew that she ultimately couldn’t change. Adam was still going to be coming after her, destroying anything close to her. The severed limb was a constant reminder, one she would never be able to heal. She couldn’t fix anything.

But she could stop from hurting them more. Ultimately, she couldn’t really change, which meant that ultimately, she knew what she would do. She made up her mind. They’d be better off this way, no more threats emerging from her past to devour them. She’d find somewhere else to go, to pretend that she belonged. She’d felt out of place for most of her life, going back to that shouldn’t be too difficult. If she pretended hard enough, maybe she would eventually be able to forget that the only place she’d ever truly belonged was with her team.

The airship landed. She watched as Ruby and Yang were loaded onto stretchers, medical personnel ready and waiting when they arrived. Weiss rose and followed after them, and Blake slowly trudged behind her. As she set foot on solid ground again, she looked over and saw the transfer students exiting their own airship. Her classmates all passed her as she watched the other ship empty, numbness slowly settling into her limbs. The last person to emerge was Sun. He must have felt her eyes on him, because he stopped and turned, meeting her gaze.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Blake looked away. She spotted her teammates, Weiss still following as the other two were loaded into ground transport. They would be okay. And they would be even more okay without her and the danger that stalked her. This would be easier. She’d been doing it all her life. Mind and body going numb, Blake turned on the spot, away from everyone she’d come to care about, and ran.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still trying to get over that "Knowing that it's always easier to run" is an actual lyric from Blake's pov in Like Morning Follows Night and I didn't know that until after I'd written this holy crap.
> 
> My first foray into writing for RWBY! Let me know how I did ^_^


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